Cognitive Dissonance

I reach out and want to touch you,
But not really,
I don't want to spoil what we have right here,
Judgment cloudy really wish it was clear,
So hear hear but don't adhere,
My dilemma is how to overcome my fear.

I want to hold you close,
But not really,
Your scent may overcome me causing me to do things I really shouldn't,
Things in normal circumstances I really couldn't,
Tricking my conscience thinking I would've fooled it,
But knowing in real sense it would've schooled me.

I want to understand you,
But not really,
For in understanding you would have lost your mystery,
Maybe I should be your future and not your history,
Take the 60% cotton leave the 40% glysterine,
Take away forewarning and reasons misconcieved.

I want to hear your voice speaking to me,
But not really,
Because hearing will bring with it understanding which brings with it all the above,
And opens my heart to a fountain of love,
And makes you mine forever to have.

Which is what I want,
But not really you see,
Because I have these two voices fighting in me,
So on the count of love I plead not guilty,
Because I love you, you see,
But not really.