Ten little fingers, two little paws
One little CPU, centrally processing it all
Whirrr...processing data...
Two little bunny ears, in out twist
Rocket science, frustration
Ten stubborn fingers, two useless paws
One little mind, unable to comprehend it all
Whirr whirrr...
Two little bunny ears, out in twist
Pause, tears
Two salty rivers race down his cheeks
A cry wells in his tiny heart
Little eyelids slide shut
Fluid darkness
He sees her,
Ten slender fingers, two loving paws
Enveloping his putting him at ease
Whisper
Two little bunny ears
Into the barrow out the tunnel, twist
And with a kiss, shes gone
Two little eyelids flutter open
To the light of the bright sun
And the sight of a proud mum
'Look mommy, I tied my laces!'
Ten slender fingers, two loving paws
Pick little cub up and give him a kiss
By Edwin Baru. I'm sure if you looked here or there you could find his poetry and prose respectively.
Aaaawwww sniff sniff that's so sweet {._.}
ReplyDeleteAaaaw *wipes tear***!!!
ReplyDeletetwo little rivers form on my cheecks!!
this poem creates a warm feeling in me-that feeling you get whe you are with your friend--not a lover who races your heart into 'spasmal' confusion or a stranger who barely looks at you- somewhere there in th middle when you feel tht your heart is safe? For me,thts a great place to be at-
it speaks to me about oneness-bonds holding us together tht are far beyond ten little fingers and two little paws -
Hahaha... I can't believe all of you are going aaawww!!
ReplyDeleteAm you love the poem, it was a little laboured writting it being almost out of my width but am glad you guys like it.
@jacque, Personification? did i hack?
@wanjeri, critique!
Yes- the paws and the fingers give the story life- they stand as the personas in the poem for me- i saw on your tweet that this is a slight deviation from your usuall poetry-- how? Ibeg to differ-- remember the be humble poem on cerealinabox???
ReplyDeletecan i describe poetry by edwin baru? Your style is warm-it chooses not to shock the reader by sending him into the arms of a dictionary- that however doesnt mean that its simple poetry-it weaves its message in this simplicity and thats the signature
Pole i have to double post-technoproblems-
ReplyDeleteyou once wrote a poem on your birthday-refer back to that poem-thats when i recognised the trend- i dont think the poem deviates-- in a way,some poems by wanjiku do take this path a talking about-- i hope i am making sense- am not using a comp bt if you need me to give you examples with some poems, ill do so once i repair my modem-
If fuzzy was a poetry category this would be it. I enjoyed the subtlety and it made the poetry even warmer
ReplyDeleteI am however unsure about the personification. I think it means giving human characteristics to non-human things. I think the piece is more of an allusion or simile than personification in the strict sense of the word.
Wairua sasa-yeah the warmth, you feel it too?-
ReplyDeleteabt personification, i think its not limited to the direct instances where a tree speaks or leaves start laughing. I think when a poet is capable of bringing life and action into th poem without necesarily having people as the characters ,tht is personification- paws might be a part of being human, having life- bt these paws have been given life with an ability beyond what we know---oh, and earlier,i had said tht paws are the personas-no,they jst characters
"Ten slender fingers, two loving paws
ReplyDeletePick little cub up and give him a kiss"
You can almost see the security that this cub feels in the two little paws. It can experience emotions with no limits because two little paws are always watching.
Yes warmth will be the words to describe this poem.
On personification I agree with bot Jacque and Mercy. Sometimes a tree has to talk, sometimes you just have to give something life beyond what we know. One can't point at a line in the poem and say "There! that is personification." On that front ou failed but you do give the paws life beyond what we would see on a superficial level. Kudos Ed.
it reads like a bedtime story... or a nursery rhyme... or a work song... a round song where the first group sings the first two lines and then the second group joins in...
ReplyDeletethat's a good thing, it means the simple poetry is vivid, it remains in my mind, i feel like singing about it... or using it as an instruction manual for tying shoe laces.
and apparently i'm the only one who didn't think it was a cub cub... like a lion's cub...???
ten slender fingers, two little paws... two useless paws... two loving paws... whirr whirr...
the repetition creates a picture of childish simplicity and innocence in my head... your use of a cpu to represent the child's mind... it defines mind boggling and i can see the shoelaces as the child sees it.
Two bunny ears... rocket science, frustration, two salty rivers... into the burrow... out the tunnel...
everything is exaggerated. maybe exaggerated is not the word, perhaps we are dwarfed (made into dwarfs) by the words so we can see these things as the child sees them, that even tear drops become rivers... salty rivers, does he drink his tears? (:-)).. that the spaces for inserting shoelaces (are they called shoeholes? shoelacesholes?) are called tunnels and burrows... i thought that was a way of making the reader see the rocketscienceness of it. the reader has to come down to the child's level.
i am left wondering if the child finally learnt to tie his shoe laces or if his mother tied them for him and then he thought that he did it himself...
it left me wondering if that's what i've been doing my whole life. thinking my accomplishments are mine, and yet when i close my eyes, someone helps me with them... do i see them helping me and ignore it? or do i never see it, i'm blinded by my own tears. be they tears of mirth or tears of pain...
but there's always a loving mommy somewhere. be it a friend. a parent. God.
such are the deep lessons of your simple poetry, Baru.
and i still don't see the cub cubness of it.
uuuummm so i had to reread lest i saw something i hadn't seen...
ReplyDeleteso personification being showing human characteristics on inhuman and most common non living things ... i like how the writer shows qualities of the cub and child... but me gets a question at that juncture...
this directly referring to a living thing that is a mammal..(my bias) it is natural for it to show the same qualities as human.. it is close to expected even. It's a primal instinct... which Brings me to what wambui said...
according to me as a reader i would appreciate personification more on a plant as compared to on an animal.
that said, I love how the poem had lost me at the start... so this is where i ask,
was it a computer you had in mind?
i am just amazed at all your interpretations of the poem you guys have come up with.
ReplyDeleteThe poem on the surface (maana ya juu) is about a boy who cannot tie his shoe laces. in the 1st verse he tries to but he cant remember how.In the 2nd verse he tries again but he still cannot remember how to. Thats when he closes his eyes and sees his mother helping him tie the shoes like she teaches him how to and in repeating the very steps, he is finaly able to conquer this task that was previously frustrating.
Maana ya ndani. The poem, as soul fool percieved, is about our struggles. Those tasks and things we find daunting. It is a poem about those people we have in our lives who offer us a helping hand, advice and comfort that comes at the time we need it most. To rephrase soul fool's idea, we stand on the shoulders of others.
The idea of the cub was to endear the child to the reader, visualizing him as a young cub with the potential to grow to a formidable lion.
Paws have 5 digits which are immovable, that is the picture intended. To show how clumsy and stiff the young hands are.
On personification, am excited none of you saw the shoe laces that were bunnies going into a tunnel and out a barrow...
thanks for all your comments.
why do i feel like i been played :D love this feeling though'
ReplyDeleteThe shoe laces!! :D
Love it... shifts perception
I saw that baru,ha! Ati you're excited? haha.
ReplyDeleteyou will be surprised at what gets me excited
ReplyDeletewow, amazing! i need to read more
ReplyDelete